One Year Down, a Lifetime More to Go!

Come July 31, Kyle and I will hit our 1 year anniversary! 

God blessed us with a beautiful sunset on our wedding night!

Oh the places you will go...

The year went by so quickly.  Looking back, there were so many different feelings we had, growth God did in our lives, and places we went!

We spent our honeymoon in Punta Cana

Thanks to a wedding gift from brother Mitch, we spent Fall Break in Asheville, NC. 

(Also, thanks to a wedding gift from brother Pryor and sister Sally, we were able to take all of these beautiful pictures).

We had Thanksgiving in Chattanooga...

...and Christmas in Pittsburgh (My very first White Christmas ever, but the ironic thing is it was white in Chattanooga too...). 

We went to DC for our New Years Conference and Staff training

Then we went to Disney World, The Happiest Place on Earth :)

Kyle surprised me on my birthday with a trip to Asheville where we rode segways and visited the Biltmore Mansion!

(or some in my generation may remember it as the home of Richie Rich)

Another weekend, Kyle surprised me with a one night getaway to this gorgeous B&B, The King's Daughters Inn, in Durham, NC

We spent a couple of weekends with the family in Hilton Head, including Easter



Finally, I got a job in February and got pregnant in April.  And this summer alone, we've been to 4 weddings with 3 left to go; Kyle started Seminary and lived in a dorm a few nights a week for 5 weeks; We both went to the Summer Beach Project, which is where Kyle is now, and we will be headed to DC this weekend to celebrate the future Mr. and Mrs. JR Watkins.

What God has been doing...

I have heard that some married couples have a very easy first year; some have a very hard first year, but year 3 is hard, or year 7 is really tough.  Either way, someone always declares that there is at least 1 rough year somewhere towards the beginning.  Kyle and I had a hard engagement, so we were hoping we got our hard times over early on.  We were wrong.  We got married and pretty much right off the bat, year one started out tough.  This was our time to finally learn how to do LIFE together.  We hadn't even lived in the same state until we got married, and then we all of a sudden lived in the same tiny little apartment (which we love, by the way).  I learned a lot about Kyle, but even more about myself.  God reminded me of my continual need for the Cross and that unfortunately sin can quietly linger allowing you to believe you have completely overcome it and therefore lead to a dangerously unrepentant lifestyle.

It also wasn't until marriage that I realized I had all of these subconscious expectations for what marriage is like, the kind of wife I would be, and the feelings I would experience within marriage.  As Bill Farley says in his book Gospel Powered Parenting, we all have and live by assumptions that are like highways of unseen intellectual submarines deep in our subconscious.  We may not even see or recognize we have these assumptions, or expectations, but they are there, and "all our conclusions about life flow from these assumptions."  Kyle and I knew to talk about our expectations of marriage before the big day, and we did, to the best of our knowledge.  Little did we know that we had these little unseen submarines leading us in how we lived and responded to one another.

Within the first couple of months of marriage, we were already feeling overwhelmed with not only what we were learning about ourselves and each other, but also the unknown of what exactly was the problem and how could it be fixed?  That's when we sought help from our faithful pastor who married us, Pastor Craig.  He brought us to the Scriptures every time we met.  One of my most memorable meetings with him is when we took a look at the meanings of each word in I Corinthians 13:4-7. 

"Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things."

As I looked at the Greek word and its true meaning, I couldn't help but see how I have failed to love Kyle in every way that love is or is not.  This lead directly where God would have it lead: deep repentance.

God used those meetings with Craig, as well as time, and many conversations to grow me and Kyle more into His likeness.  About 6 months into marriage, it felt like life was changing for the better.  Kyle and I had more enjoyable times together than not.  Kyle continued to serve me, love me well and make me laugh, and in response I truly delighted in doing the same for him.

But it wasn't until a only few weekends ago when I realized, "Wow, I am absolutely loving marriage!"  I was at the beach and met a girl who was newly married.  She didn't know I was married but as I walked away from our conversation, I wished she had known because I wanted her to ask me how it was.  I would have told her, "I love it!  It's wonderful!"  As I thought through all this, I wondered, when did THAT happen?!   I remember my old response was, "It's really hard, but we're learning a lot about each other and how to do life together."  I couldn't come up with an exact time, but all I knew was at that moment on the beach, I worshipped God.  All this time he had been doing a work that I didn't even notice.  I am so grateful that because of Jesus, Kyle and I can experience true love and repentance. 

I am sure there are many more hard times ahead, but it is comforting to know through my own experience within marriage that God is present there too.  He shows up, and it is his desire and delight to reunite me and Kyle in a joyful marriage because ultimately it brings Him glory.