Fear

This summer I flew to a couple of cities, and for some reason, I became more fearful than ever before.  I have flown plenty of times, but it wasn't until I prepared for these flights that I became anxious, overwhelmed and brought to tears.  I talked to Kyle about how I was feeling, and confessed that I know this isn't how I am meant to live, in fear and anxiety.  I am called to cast my anxieties on the Lord because He cares for me (I Peter 5:7), and Kyle reminded me that the most stated command in Scripture is "Fear not" or some variety of this.

I continued to repent for not trusting in God's goodness for me, and I prayed that I would be able to give Him these anxieties and fears and fully trust in His sovereignty.  Kyle and I flew together to and from Pittsburgh, and I was comforted by Kyle's presence.

What I learned in the flight to Pittsburgh

While on the flight, I was suddenly reminded that God is sovereign and in control over ALL of my life.  Why is it when I get on a plane, I am immediately fearful of what will happen?  It is simply because it is in these times that I realize I am not in control.  Why is it that on a regular daily basis I rarely experience fear?  It's simply because I feel as though I am in control.  I have forgotten that it is not I who writes the script of my life, but God.  When you live life neglecting the fact that God is in control of it, of course you will experience great fear when you finally realize you have no control.  I was determined from here on out to continually meditate on God's control in my life.

What I learned in the flight to Maryland

A couple weeks later, I was on my own, flying to visit Kate in Maryland.  In preparation for this flight, I was continually asking God to comfort me in knowing He is the one who is always in control, not me.  I wouldn't have Kyle there this time for any sort of earthly comfort and support.

As I was on the flight, I was reminded of what Kyle had told me two weeks earlier.  A pilot once told him that it is so highly unlikely for a plane to crash.  It would be like a man putting on tight fitting jeans, buttoning and zipping them up, putting on a belt, and attaching suspenders, and then having his pants spontaneously fall down.  While it would have been so easy to rely on this pilot's expertise, I had to keep myself from doing so.  To do this would be to neglect what God had just reminded me of two weeks prior: God is in control, and I am called to put my trust in him, not statistics or reassurances of the durability of a machine.

The point

I guess I say all this to remind myself once again, that it may feel easier to trust in myself, statistics or even other promising machines and technology, but it is worth the mental fight to keep setting these aside so that you are able to fully and completely give your whole heart to God recognizing that He is sovereign over your life and that He makes all things work together for the good of those who love Him (Romans 8:28).